Grandma i'm sorry that things changed this year. Everything is falling apart. Everyone is leaving. You've been saying that you've been lonely and no one talks to you. I know that you're all alone at home and neither of us are there to accompany you, and i even imagined myself in your shoes and asked myself what's it like being old and lonely. In an empty flat. I'm terribly sorry that things have to end up this way. I'm so used to staying here now. I have everything that i need here and it's just a waste of money to abandoned it (just for a little while) and go live with you. But yet, maybe it isn't really a waste of money, as long as you can be happy. I guess it'll be worth it.
I know you called me up today just because you needed someone to talk to in the middle of the night. You kept going on and on about where to place this cupboard and what to throw and keep- before you send the movers to send a few more things in. You were just finding reasons to talk to me. I'm sorry i had to hang up on you cus i was using my handphone and we had almost an hour of conversation cus it was already 1am. I had to cut you up when you were grumbling about the fridge. I said i was going to call you back using the house phone but you said you'll call me back some other time and that i don't have to bother. I know i was being so rude towards you on the phone and i raised my voice a few times but i just couldn't help it. I hate it when i do that to you. I hate it to be away from you. I hate the fact that you're feeling so alone. I wish i could turn back time. I wish you didn't have to sell the house. I wish.... i wish that we weren't such an unhappy family.
ps. i miss you so badly, you have no idea.
goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment